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Obi-wan Kenobi dead, Vader announces.

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CORUSCANT — Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday. In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader’s own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock. The news touched off an extraordinary outpouring of emotion as crowds gathered in the Senate District and outside the Imperial Palace, waving imperial flags, cheering, shouting, laughing and chanting, “Hail to the Emperor! Hail Lord Vader!” In the alien protection zone, crowds sang “The Ten Thousand Year E...
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Israel should go eff itself

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Michele Bachmann sucks at reading the Bible. Every time you read the Bible, you translate it .  The words don't beam God's intent directly to your heart. You interpret, or translate, the meaning of the verses when you read it.  Entire churches are established on different interpretations. Bachmann's interpretation of scripture is horrific in its implication: " I am convinced in my heart and in my mind that if the United States fails to stand with Israel, that is the end of the United States. " I forgot to mention.  Bachmann also sucks at history.  The U.S. got along just fine for 140 years before Israel came into being. But back to the Bible.  Bachmann says: " we are inextricably entwined, that as a nation we have been blessed because of our relationship with Israel, and if we reject Israel, then there is a curse that comes into play. " She refers to Genesis 12:3 — "And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee ...
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